My son, Zard (short for Lizard), got a time portal for his tenth birthday.  For some reason, he just didn’t think it was very cool.

I don’t know whether it was because 1) it horrified him that he might have to go back to wearing diapers, 2) that his parents were so mushy in their affections they would actually wish diapers on him, or 3) the picture of the wizened lady on the tag seemed meant to depict him (nothing I can do about branding).

I think it’s kind of nice for one’s parents to say they bought it so you could stick around longer.  My husband was kind of envious.  He wanted me to step through it, because old geezers (like him) tend to like younger women.  That didn’t go over too well, either.

But just because your parents say a time warp is for one thing, doesn’t mean you can’t use it for something different, like sleeping in late on your birthday and not missing your math test.  Or watching the Easter Bunny place all the eggs in the woods and still scoring huge on Super Smash Brothers (hey wait, that’s how he got so many eggs!), or, as Zard says, using it to step forward in time to know the week’s lottery numbers (free money, baby).

Man, I wish I had a time warp.  Unfortunately, this one seems to have a defect–I bump my nose when I walk into it.  Maybe, since it was Zard’s gift, it only works for him.  Maybe he was just pretending it wasn’t cool, so I wouldn’t guess too much about his other, secret life.  Maybe it was a tad bit too cool of a present.

Maybe he deserves it.  Love you, buddy!

P.S.  The sandpiper eggs hatched!  (Even the third one.)  These are the chicks as of a week ago.  They’ve since disappeared into the reeds with their smart Mum and Dad.